When you are diagnosed with a chronic illness, there are 7 psychological stages of grief that you will work through.

It is important to know which stage of grief you are at, to help yourself move forward to acceptance. You may have already worked through 1 or more stages below, without realising it.

Denial 

You have just been diagnosed and are in shock. You cannot believe that you have been diagnosed with a chronic disease/illness. You start to think how you will make changes and live a good life.

Shock can help you to decide to move on to the next stage and start working through the stages. It may also backfire, if you choose to think that the condition will eventually go away or be okay. Sometimes denial presents as pretending the chronic disease is not happening.

Pleading/Bargaining & Desperation

In this stage you try really hard to bargain or plead to not have a chronic illness.

You wish that you could go back to your previous life and miss ‘the old you’. You may feel guilty and blame yourself for becoming sick. You wonder if you could have done anything differently to prevent your illness. Guilt usually comes with bargaining, as you blame yourself for your situation.

Anger 

This is a crucial stage for you to begin the healing process. There is no specific timeline for you to get through the anger stage. Although you are angry with your diagnosis and situation, it is normal for you to be angry at your doctor, caregiver, family and friends. However, you will most likely be very apologetic afterwords.

Anger typically comes later in the process when the disease progresses, and you realize that life will change.

Anxiety & Depression 

These will set in next, as life changes are solidified. The feelings of depression can be substantial and seem like they will never go away. There may be anxiety about the future and the unknown as you wonder what will happen to you.

You may start to withdraw, tools such as meditation/therapy may help to keep you on track.

Loss of self & Confusion

This can be very real for individuals with a chronic illness. In this stage, life has changed so much for you that you do not recognize yourself .

Some people define and understand themselves by what they can do.

Due to the chronic illness, you can no longer do what you used to do in the same way and you have to figure out how to redefine yourself.

This stage may happen at the same time as anxiety and depression or separately.

 Re-evaluation of life roles & goals

You will be thinking about how you can move forward as a wife, mother, husband, father, sibling, and friend. You are forced to re-evaluate how you fit into the picture of your new life and what that means in daily life. Figuring out how to go about daily activities, and if you are able to work, what work will look like for you.

Acceptance

This is the final stage in which you accept your new reality. You are not usually happy with it, but you learn how to deal with your new norm.

You strive to learn new skills, to make life better and discover new things that bring joy andmeaning into your life.